This post is intended to bring attention to the selection process and hopefully help you understand yourself more within the whole process. Dating, how to find the one you want (or at least get a lot closer). This may seem harsh, but if you meet someone who seems like they are possible boyfriend/girlfriend potential; step away and look at the whole relationship dynamic as an outside observer.
For example, if you meet someone in the military you have to know that they will be going away a lot and will most likely have to move around. If you meet someone who has a son or daughter, you will learn quickly that you are not the most important person in their life; that spot is reserved for their son or daughter (If this is not the case I personally see that as a big red flag).
If you are dating someone in a wheelchair (I use a manual wheelchair full-time), so therefore will be slower in certain aspects of my daily life, there are places that are not accessible and there may be physical complications.
Now, I am in no way suggesting that you have a written list and whip it out at your first meet up. Simply be aware of what you want and as you get to know each other you will both figure out if you are a fit.
I think we can all agree that everyone has issues and we all deal with them in different ways. Now I am not telling you to avoid dating the above mentioned, I am simply saying, take an objective look at the facts. Some things may be “deal breakers” others you may be able to live with. Make the decisions earlier rather than later…Before you get too attached.
Here are some of my guidelines for Dating:
1) Know what you want in a partner
2) If they aren’t it, don’t settle
3) Identify your “deal breakers” and what you are willing to be more flexible with.
4) Never sacrifice yourself for someone else
The power of writing down your goals is unprecedented. I write down everything I want, I think of my goal lists as life’s road map. The analogy works: If you were going on a road trip to the other side of the country; you look at a map or GPS.
Yes I know sometimes people go on random drives and do not have a destination, but stick with me here…On your road trip you have a starting point and end point or “goal” Well life can be great as long as you know what you want and where you are going. If you don’t know what you want that is OK don’t feel bad. It is however, easier then you think to figure it out. Write down what you don’t want or what you don’t like about your current situation. Once you have that list complete, then the opposite is what your goals should be.
Sounds simple right? It is!
Some of you know the title of this post as a great song by Rick “The Boss” Ross, but I share it as a good motto for life. If you make it a goal to hustle everyday I think you will increase success greatly. I am not talking about rushing or hurrying around because I believe that can be very stressful. When I speak of “hustle” I mean a nice steady, crisp pace that you use throughout your day to accomplish tasks.
Three things to help you hustle:
1) Have clear goals or tasks that need to be accomplished that day.
2) Organize your tasks to maximize time and reduce travel. (If you have to go shopping, but you need to see someone on the other side of town; go shopping there and save travel.
3) Be sure you are aware of time. Don’t obsess about it, but just keep an eye on it so you can stick to a schedule.
If you do those things you will be surprised how you feel at the end of the day. You will get more done, feel a great sense of accomplishment and have more time to enjoy life!
Always be honest with people. The main person you want to be honest with is yourself. I always look inside for the right answer. You are the only one that can tell you what is right for you; the answer is based on your values. When I am asked let people know what I think. I always have facts or reasoning to backup what I saying; I don’t just say something and leave. My advice is be honest but be respectful and if you are asked to give your opinion, take a moment and think of the other person before you respond. Here is an example: Yesterday I met a gentleman in Starbucks, he uses an electric wheelchair and has severe speech troubles. We had a short talk and he asked for my phone number, I gave it to him. Shortly after he left another friend and I were talking about “what to do if he calls?” I decided that I will see if I can understand him on the phone and if I can’t, I will just be honest. Think about it, I could have told him no or “I don’t have a phone right now” or given him a fake number, but that is not fair to him and in my view it is disrespectful. You will be pleasantly surprised at the strength of your relationships if they have a foundation of honesty.
The reason you have not seen a recent post is because I got distracted from the true goal of this blog. I have always wanted a forum where I could share my ideas and help others. Some time ago someone approached me with an opportunity to get my blog linked to a larger sports website and all I had to do was write about that sport. I did so, I had to keep on making changes and soon enough I lost interest. Then life got in the way and before I knew it, I posted this 5 + months after my last post. How is that supposed to inspire others? Believe me I thought long and hard about this. The lesson for me and anyone else is “Stay True” I deviated from my original goal, and as soon as that happened, I lost that fire, that passion that excites me about these helpful topics, I stopped. So no matter what you get offered in life, consider if it will get you closer or further away from your true self.