This post is intended to bring attention to the selection process and hopefully help you understand yourself more within the whole process. Dating, how to find the one you want (or at least get a lot closer). This may seem harsh, but if you meet someone who seems like they are possible boyfriend/girlfriend potential; step away and look at the whole relationship dynamic as an outside observer.
For example, if you meet someone in the military you have to know that they will be going away a lot and will most likely have to move around. If you meet someone who has a son or daughter, you will learn quickly that you are not the most important person in their life; that spot is reserved for their son or daughter (If this is not the case I personally see that as a big red flag).
If you are dating someone in a wheelchair (I use a manual wheelchair full-time), so therefore will be slower in certain aspects of my daily life, there are places that are not accessible and there may be physical complications.
Now, I am in no way suggesting that you have a written list and whip it out at your first meet up. Simply be aware of what you want and as you get to know each other you will both figure out if you are a fit.
I think we can all agree that everyone has issues and we all deal with them in different ways. Now I am not telling you to avoid dating the above mentioned, I am simply saying, take an objective look at the facts. Some things may be “deal breakers” others you may be able to live with. Make the decisions earlier rather than later…Before you get too attached.
Here are some of my guidelines for Dating:
1) Know what you want in a partner
2) If they aren’t it, don’t settle
3) Identify your “deal breakers” and what you are willing to be more flexible with.
4) Never sacrifice yourself for someone else
The power of writing down your goals is unprecedented. I write down everything I want, I think of my goal lists as life’s road map. The analogy works: If you were going on a road trip to the other side of the country; you look at a map or GPS.
Yes I know sometimes people go on random drives and do not have a destination, but stick with me here…On your road trip you have a starting point and end point or “goal” Well life can be great as long as you know what you want and where you are going. If you don’t know what you want that is OK don’t feel bad. It is however, easier then you think to figure it out. Write down what you don’t want or what you don’t like about your current situation. Once you have that list complete, then the opposite is what your goals should be.
Sounds simple right? It is!
Some of you know the title of this post as a great song by Rick “The Boss” Ross, but I share it as a good motto for life. If you make it a goal to hustle everyday I think you will increase success greatly. I am not talking about rushing or hurrying around because I believe that can be very stressful. When I speak of “hustle” I mean a nice steady, crisp pace that you use throughout your day to accomplish tasks.
Three things to help you hustle:
1) Have clear goals or tasks that need to be accomplished that day.
2) Organize your tasks to maximize time and reduce travel. (If you have to go shopping, but you need to see someone on the other side of town; go shopping there and save travel.
3) Be sure you are aware of time. Don’t obsess about it, but just keep an eye on it so you can stick to a schedule.
If you do those things you will be surprised how you feel at the end of the day. You will get more done, feel a great sense of accomplishment and have more time to enjoy life!
Always be honest with people. The main person you want to be honest with is yourself. I always look inside for the right answer. You are the only one that can tell you what is right for you; the answer is based on your values. When I am asked let people know what I think. I always have facts or reasoning to backup what I saying; I don’t just say something and leave. My advice is be honest but be respectful and if you are asked to give your opinion, take a moment and think of the other person before you respond. Here is an example: Yesterday I met a gentleman in Starbucks, he uses an electric wheelchair and has severe speech troubles. We had a short talk and he asked for my phone number, I gave it to him. Shortly after he left another friend and I were talking about “what to do if he calls?” I decided that I will see if I can understand him on the phone and if I can’t, I will just be honest. Think about it, I could have told him no or “I don’t have a phone right now” or given him a fake number, but that is not fair to him and in my view it is disrespectful. You will be pleasantly surprised at the strength of your relationships if they have a foundation of honesty.
The reason you have not seen a recent post is because I got distracted from the true goal of this blog. I have always wanted a forum where I could share my ideas and help others. Some time ago someone approached me with an opportunity to get my blog linked to a larger sports website and all I had to do was write about that sport. I did so, I had to keep on making changes and soon enough I lost interest. Then life got in the way and before I knew it, I posted this 5 + months after my last post. How is that supposed to inspire others? Believe me I thought long and hard about this. The lesson for me and anyone else is “Stay True” I deviated from my original goal, and as soon as that happened, I lost that fire, that passion that excites me about these helpful topics, I stopped. So no matter what you get offered in life, consider if it will get you closer or further away from your true self.
First off it has been quite some time since I updated this blog, so I do apologize. The subject I will be covering today is busywork. Busywork is doing things throughout the day that keep you busy, but ultimately do not accomplish a valuable goal. For example: At work you have a project to be done, so you decide that you need to brainstorm your ideas and then you get feedback from colleagues. Now that you come up with this big plan, you want your boss to know that you are doing this project and this is your timeline etc… I agree the example maybe a little far fetched; but I think you get my drift. I want to make it extremely clear that first and foremost I am guilty of this. I am currently searching for my next career and have been known to sit and plan; who I will call, what will I say, once that is together then I call friends and tell them my great plan AND I NEVER APPLY FOR JOBS. So last week a friend called me and gave me tasks to complete, before I could talk to him again! Sounds harsh, right? He was trying to get me to act! Once I did that and then a light came on! DO MORE, THINK LESS. Action gets rewarded with success. I would rather call someone on a whim, screw up and then learn, rather than start thinking to much and never call at all! So before you start working a goal or project; ask yourself “What steps can I take in order too get this done and soon as I can and have a great finished product at the same time?” Here are some tips: 1) Break the project down into daily tasks, give yourself time stamped deadlines for each section. 2) Find a friend or TRUSTED colleague, give them your tasks and deadlines and ask them to hold you accountable (even though you should be able to do that yourself!) 3) Lastly designate some undisturbed time each day, where your phone goes straight to voice-mail, your door is closed, you have gone to the washroom, you have a snack, you have done whatever you need to do; to ensure; focused, efficient and uninterrupted work!
If it is not yet clear, my goal with this blog is to help people attain life balance. To be happy and successful in only one area, is ultimately going to be a personally destructive. You need to be physically active, have healthy social skills and great friends. Wheelchair Rugby has given me all these things. I get great exercise,which release’s endorphin’s to make me happy. I look forward to weekly practice so that I can catch up with my friends and hear about their lives. At practice we do drills and learn the finer points of the game, which helps with education and focus. The game for Rugby teaches you the importance of working as a team and incorporating everyone. Wheelchair Rugby gives you the ability to understand the strengths and weaknesses of yourself and others. Everything I have learned from the game of Rugby can be applied to all aspects of life. I cannot stress enough the importance of joining a team sport like Wheelchair Rugby. It will change your life!
I rarely have an issue sharing personal information about myself, however this hits close to my heart. My Grandma is currently, battling lung cancer ( and yes the doctor’s say it is from smoking).
No one knows how long she has. Then I got to thinking; how long do we all have? I feel personally; if the choice must be made, between living a long boring life and living a short but meaningful life, I would choose the latter. I believe I am here, to help others from all walks of life, to improve and enjoy their days. I want and need people to understand that they have the ability to have, do and be anything they want. No matter what the future holds, my Grandma’s Legacy will live on through the people she has touched because of the unique way she tells stories, her laugh or simply the fact that no matter what is is going on, she always makes you feel better simply by being there. Cherish your relationships with family and friends, more importantly anyone who brings value to your life. Regardless of money, job, time or material things. If you have no one to share your life with, then what is the point?
Alright now that the formalities are through, let`s start tackling issues. I have been an advocate for the continuous improvement for some time now. I study people, read books, listen to audio and video; the list is endless. Having said that, one of the most valuable lessons I have learned is to consider the source. This means consider the individual who is giving you the advice, before you either apply it or get personally offended by it. An example: don`t take advice on relationships from someone who is in an unhealthy one. I personally do not take financial or career advice from someone who is not earning the income that I want to earn. Those are a few clear cut examples, and here is my reasoning. 1) If they don`t have what you want or are not where you want to be, do they really know how to get there? 2) Jealousy. Whether people are aware or not, some simply will sabotage your dreams and goals because they don`t have the guts to do what you are doing! 3) You are the only person that can tell you what you can and cannot do. The trouble with businesses and corporations is that they are set up so that you need someone else`s permission in order to go for a promotion and advance your career. Even is that is the case, percieveirence will always prevail. Get excited stay focus and Make an impact!
I recently found out that Jim Rohn, Business philosopher and Motivational Speaker died on December 5 2009. He had an 18 month battle with Pulmonary Fibrosis. Mr. Rohn was 79, he did what he loved for 46 years. It may seem odd that I am paying tribute to a man I never met. However the fact of the matter is, even though I never met Jim Rohn I knew him quite well; or should he knew me. I listen to his wisdom and lessons daily, and I am a member of his website.
I remember stumbling on to some of his work, when I was looking for a way to make changes. “When the student is ready the teacher shall appear.” Most who know me, know that my passion and life’s purpose is to become a motivational speaker as well. I am currently writing a book containing my insights on how to improve life in all area’s. I can only wish that I become half the man Jim Rohn was and is, he wisdom will live forever.
Jim Rohn (September 17, 1930 – December 5, 2009) an American entrepreneur, author and motivational speaker.